silas being busy

How have you guys been?
Been really busy here as i have started working already (two months) hence, the reason why i am not blogging and going on the internet (and meeting guys too- sorry folks)
work is tough as you need to meeet up with your boss' expectations and all. politics - yes the exist in my office and the very first day my colleagues are telling me who i am suppose to mix with and avoid. you perform 100% this month, the boss expect you to give in 150% results next month and 200% the following month. corporates now a days they just squeeze dry you until the very last drop and yet they fail to realise that the staffs are the most important assets an organization have. kill mthe staffs and you kill your own bussiness.

Trying hard to get out of this rat race as i see that i have an issue of getting up early, stuck in the morning jam, work 8 hours - rotting and dying at my desk, stuck in the jam again and the crash on my bed every monday to saturday. (and i can imagine what will i become if this is going to continue for the rest of my life. )

seriously, i think the gov should improves the traffic control and the public transports. dont you think so?

Miss me?

ALO!
i have been missing for a very long time haha....life have been boring and therefore there is nothing to write about to let you guys read.
Anyway i have just graduated and went for a job interview last week and then the boss called and they have accepted me :P sumary: end of holiday and a life time being a slave.

Recently i have a met a guy and he is darn good kisser. i was with him the whole night, hugging and kissing and feel like i am in cloud nine but the biggest problem is that:
1) he is good looking-----> not a loyal bf material, no sense of security

ai...anyway i have been meeting up with him with movies and all. In another person (gay person) perspective it is quite obvious we are couple. We were happy but in the end i think i am the one that is going to be hurt. ok, got to go....yes...going put with him later for a movie...aoks *finger crossed*

i am back

ok i am back! think its been long i posted anything here. how is life everyone? mine? sucks.....haha...
sigh suddenly the dilema of getting a bf and settle down with him orbits around me and its so darn hard to get one - i know i am picky, but hey, if i am going to spend most of my time with him then i ought to choose properly.

i often as myself, should i look for someone i love or that to accept someone that loves me? hard eh. such a subjective question and i think til now i still have not gotten any answers. damn!

today went for a dinner in pyramid and gosh there is this gay coulpe that dine in front of table and because god is so unfair they are both hunks! i was drooling and thank good ness the food was tasty so my family were not suspicious haha. i man i want to end up like those two sitting infront of me. wonder when. cross fingers!

Need to workout

I was watching a show yesterday night and there is this Argentinien guy with a god damn gorgeous body, not to mustcular but have a nice lean and smooth body. i am so jealous! wonder how long would it take for me to be like him though. i burn fats as though i am breathing. losing weight is my forte. i have been trying to be lazy- eat sleep eat sleep routine but i have not even gained a gram. goodness! any advices?

dun get me wrong...is not that i am not happy with my body, i am lean but just that i know it could be so much better if my abs are more prominent and a nicer chest would definitely be nice to suit with all those clothes i want to buy. you dig? silas must work hard now!

Want and Need

I think i have to started opening my heart and scope to find a BF now. Not that i need one, just that i want one. See the difference? kapish?

Went for a gathering that day and there were like a total of 18 of us. Majority of them were couples, very sweet and very loving while there a few stray (which me is in it) who are miserably single and we have to laugh and smile at them and wishing at the same time - " Where the hell is my boy?!"

so,....any takers?

Silas is back

Been long since i came to update this page - reason - busy

What have happened during the duration of me being MIA? Chinese new year, working and flirting around haha.

Talk about work, hmm...there is this cute guy that work there (which i have not confirm whether he is gay or not - damn!) nice butt and sexy eyes :P work is tough but not as tough as keeping my eyes off him and worse he caught me looking at him a few times, and i think he looked at me too which i think its good.....right? Met a lot of new people and i say that working there is fun though once again...its tough! Now i am considering in sending my resume in after i graduate, which is in a few months time.

Now, college have started and its my first day today and it sucks! i have a row with my classmates due to some problems and now they are boycotting me - which i don't care. All i need to remind myself is that i am graduating soon and just get over with it, after all, true friends never do these sort of things to each other - agree?

New year have arrived and lets just cross all fingers and toes and hope that everything is for the greater good! so cliche hor?

CHINESE NEW YEAR

year of the rat has arrived atlast and it promises fortune but how come my ang pau so little?

anyway new year have been fun lots of cute guys are seen in my hometown. eye spa ^^

Shopping!

Went back to my hometown in subang ( now you know) to shop for chinese new year with my friends(they are all straights). Rather a disappointing experience cause after 5 hours of exhaustion of camping in different dressing rooms and patrolling between the old wing and the new wing of sunway pyramid i only manage to get 3 tops and one long pants. sigh....

Anyhow that day was a hole disaapointment. There is not a single cute guy shopping there. Where have they all gone!!!! Goodness...i haven been back for 5 weeks and the whole shopping mall already have a great stench on seafood. LALAS are everywhere. Its a pestilence! a plague!

Went to Quicksilver and everything i want they have no size. Went to Billabong and cant seem to find anything interesting.....goodness! even my cup of drink i ordered in starbucks tatse bad.

However the higlight of the day was the cute guy working in one of the shop. OMG he is damn cute! Tall....fair and super smooth skin (you can feel in by looking it and i kinda get a semi hard on just looking at him!) Even my girlfriends were all like going a few times to shop so to get a chance to be serve by him but all the other promoters were so eager to get the commisions that they were they at the front door to greet us. sigh....wat a disappointment to the gay guy and the straight girls. OH have i told you, he alerted my gaydar :P

someone is reading ^^

OMG....
checked my blog today and i found people reading it haha... really happy!
thanks guys!

may the gayness of the world be with you!

Gave up. I can't believe it!

Well i have an exam this mmoning at 9. Suppose to have but i missed it. Not that i woke upo late or wat but i made a choice to not go. why? - simple NEVER STUDY!
Now i feel so miserable! wat to do wat to do.....

GOD pls make the college offer the paper next semester so i can resit. T_T

note: this is my first time skipping a paper....

Friendship

I have a friend and its a she. Well coming into a new environment of doing my tertiery study, i have a problem of culture shock and melancholy - no friends and everything is so new. Met this girl who happen to study in the sane course with me and in an hour schat we became very good friends . On the second week of knowing her, i told her i am gay. She was cool about it and never once did she have any thing bad things to say about queers in the world - in fact sometimes she even think that us gays are much better than the straights besides stealing away good looking guys form the girls.

Hours becomes days and days becomes weeks and not for long i hacve known her for some years. I daresay that i trusted her to the extend of surrendering my life to her without worrying. I am always there for her. But just a few weeks back i found out that she have been back stabbing me and gossiping about me among my other friends. And everything seems to just become crystal clear. My other close fren then told me that its like this and he say he told me so not to simply put your trust into someone.

I am a person that treasure friendship more than anything and once a friend always a friend. I am not angry with that girl or trying to revenge or something. i just feel pity, sad and disappointed of her. Does that mean that all these while the time we pillow talk, movies, meet up with each other's friends, doing partime jobs together, sharing dirty little secrets were just an act? i just don't understand

Something to share...

well just wanna share some of my thoughts to the people out there.Many people say these to me "there no such thing as long term relationship in the gay world" But somew how the truth is that many men doesn't make the effort to have one. You may promise to give your better half the moon and the stars during the period of courtmanship but later when he accepts and be with you somehow or some where all these kinds of excuses will naturally popped out :-"i am busy" (but the fact he is lying on the couch)"maybe next time ok....i am tired" (dressing up to go clubbing)"going to bed now" (getting car keys to go out to yum cha"and etc...Many have this mentality that being in a relationship and taking it very lightly which will leads to all those unnessary fights, shoutings, arguments and misunderstanding...worse..breakups.Don't you people ever remember why you want him to be your bf in the first place? If he is going to make you so uneasy so why ask at the first place. Or maybe that you have already got fed up with his hole or pole. Due to some itsy bitsy stuff you make blazing debate out of it. Its natural to have misunderstanding but wouldn't it be nice if you sit down and talk about it?(grow up man!) it would help to ease things out if you bear in mind that 'i love him' and savour the very first day that you met and feel 'he is going to be mine' or 'he is my everything' so that atleast you know not to take your relationship lightly. Talk about watever you feel...dun keep it in your heart and brood. if you can't commit, dun get into any relationship as you are going to cause a poor soul out there to be miserable!I have friends facing these problems and some friends of mine do have a very sweet and lasting relationship. To sum it all....get to know your partner, dont change him cause if you do then it means you dont like him for wat he is now, compromise and let him know you for who you are. People tend to overproject themself or even put on an act to impress someone, but in the end, ask yourself - are you happy by doing that? and will you able to keep up with that act of yours for years to come?

Stuck and confuse

So you guys are probably wondering what am i stuck and confuse at. Well, the summary, i am stuck between 2 guys now. Get my drift?Ok, to keep things anonymous, i would name the guys Keith and Ryan.Ryan and Keith are both cute, but in a very different way. Ryan has this kiddy personality and warmth when you are around him. Every time i see him i just want to cuddle him. He dont workout or exercise and sleeps late all the time but he blessed with a good figure - lean and toned, tall, flawless skin, smooth. Keith in the other hand have the model like cuteness that have a hint of coolness in him. He plays hard to get. He is fair and again - flawless skin. He is shorter than me and slimmer too but then again i think what captivates me the most is his voice - deep and sexy.I have known Ryan for almost 2 years and initially i hated him but in the end my feelings grew fonder and i miss him now that every time he is not around. He is my housemate. Keith in the other hand i have only known him for 2 months (great different right?) but faith plays with me all the time. The reason is that i bump into him in a LRT station and immediately got attracted to him, at that time i don't know if he is gay. For the next two weeks i kept on bumping to him, in coffee shop, while walking to college, buying stuff in Watsons......and in the end bump into his profile in Axcest.Now who do i choose? I know i can't have both and got to choose. When i see Ryan i forgets about Keith and when i am messaging Keith i don't even bother about Ryan next to me. I know Keith are one of those that would not commit easily and he might get bored after a duration and Ryan somehow our personality clashes as we like different things - except for men.Sigh i just wish i could get an answer sooner or maybe a third guy that would come into my life, but then again i might be stuck in a triangle or might choose the third one. who knows?

A little about me

hi there.well i am quite new about all this blogging stuff here and i am not even sure if i am going to be blogging for more than a year - well at least i start and who knows? For those ho are clueless of what this blog going to be, it is a bout my life as a gay(pay attention to the blog tittle) in malaysia (yes, homophobics you can leave now) i am proud to be gay.this a bit of me so that you know who this blogger is :Pi am Silas (pronouns as "sai-less") i am 21 this year(2008) standing 175cm tall and weigh 60kg - i have a lean build with a hint of muscle. I like being outdoors and sports. How i look? erm.... well let say i am above average :) i am quite confident of myself in what ever stuff i am doing which include things in bed - you get my drift? :P not trying to brag but its the truth. I have a high sex drive and most of the time i am in a horny mood. Sadly i am not very proud of it.I am not sure why i created this page but somehow i think this is the only way i can share my toughts; sad, happy, bitter, betrayed, loved and much more rather than keeping it to myself. Pouring emotions into words. Getiing comments from you guys would be a plus too and would really appreciate it.In the end, being gay is not easy - but i am not ashamed of it.cheers guys